Play and Possibility with Ryookyung Kim

Jamee Pineda  0:15  
Hi, I'm Jamee Pineda and this is the decolonizing medicine podcast. I am a queer non binary trans person and my ancestors are Tagalog and Chinoy my healing arts practice is located at fruit camp in Baltimore, Maryland. And virtually today's guests brings sacredness to silliness. This might be one of the most playful conversations I have ever had. And it was an absolute delight. Ryookyung Kim (they/them) is a celebrant, a shapeshifter. Often in a transition of sorts, you means to stay to be with to leave behind, a message or mark to accept a gift to allow to grow. Kyung means fortune, blessing, wealth, auspicious, good luck ceremony, celebration. They currently support humans whose very existence disrupts the status quo by way of celebration that honors their sacred uniqueness through their creative one on one work with folks, they bring a sense of ease, wonder and playfulness into their healing containers.

Jamee Pineda  1:50  
Hi Ryoo

Ryookyung Kim  1:53  
Hi, Jamee.

Jamee Pineda  1:55  
It's so funny to say hello. Like after we've been chatting for like 10 minutes or whatever and then we have like a fake second. Hello.

Ryookyung Kim  2:07  
Is when you said hello. I was like, Oh my gosh, I This is so funny. I love this. Hello.

Jamee Pineda  2:14  
Hello. We have never started a conversation before.

Ryookyung Kim  2:18  
Like we started right now with this Hello. And there was no lead up to any of this. 

Jamee Pineda  2:23  
We didn't we didn't even exist like 40 seconds ago.

Ryookyung Kim  2:27  
We Yeah, we popped into the ether. 

Jamee Pineda  2:31  
Yeah, exactly. We just materialized right now through audio sound waves.

Ryookyung Kim  2:38  
I feel like an alien like with just like my hand up, be like, hello, hello, I'm here.

Jamee Pineda  2:46  
No one can see this because we're not recording visuals. But we were giving each other this the Live long and prosper.

Ryookyung Kim  2:57  
The Vulcan greeting

Jamee Pineda  3:00  
Well, I guess that that, like, very easily leads in to my first question. What Why is play important? And how do we engage in it?

Ryookyung Kim  3:11  
Okay, so this is I love this question because I was thinking about this in the shower. And play, I think is, is something that exists like everywhere, but as we've grown up, or at least my life experience, and I do suspect a lot of people feel this way too is that play becomes like a smaller, smaller, smaller part of our lives to the point where it's very difficult to feel the presence of it because we are so we are operating in this like way of being that is dictated by, you know, this like very oppressive and like one way type of living in this world kind of way, right? And I was thinking about where play pops up for me. And it's important because it's a part of like my re indigenizing process. It's a part of getting to know myself again, it is this ingredient that is like necessary to get to the places where I want to go. I think of it a lot too. As a really important part of inner child healing. cultivating a relationship with your inner child like a lot of that is through play. And most recently, I think I've been playing a lot with my gender, like not even like identity but just like how I want to move through the world and how I want to show up. So I want to play with clothes I want to play with like, the way that I think about The construct and playing with that and seeing what comes up. Playing through queerness, playing through like neurodiversity, like all of it, I think is so important, because if there's no play, like it just gets really stressful and boring, and serious and rigid. Yeah, so that's kind of the that's where I was kind of going with it. I feel like I'm still exploring it. Like, I'm sure that if I listen to this, like three months from now, six months from now, I'm gonna be like, oh, there was so much. I've built on it like because practice, play as a practice. So yeah, I think that's what I've got so far.

Jamee Pineda  5:44  
Okay. I'm so curious about the word re indigenizing. What does that mean to you?

Ryookyung Kim  5:53  
So I was speaking to one of the people I wanted to give a community shout out to later, Jillian Rootwalker, who is currently undergoing through a, like an initiation process in her lineage of indigenous African spiritual traditions, and Jillian uses this word instead of decolonizing. Because it feels less, it feels like we're moving towards. Hmm, let me think about this, because it's, this is how I'm like interpreting how to use that word re indigenizing. And for me, it feels like coming back home. Versus decolonizing feels like, like, an undoing. But there's something that follows the undoing, the unbecoming the like, wrapping up the gift. And so the RE indigenizing to me, like energetically, the word feels like it feels a bit dreamy to me. And I think that's where I like to play. Like, I like to play through dreams and feel very, I mean, if you can't tell I'm very like airy, and water sign-ey. And so there's like, a lot of energy that I feel like through the word read indigenizing. And yeah, it just feels like kind of the roots of something. It feels like, coming back home.

Jamee Pineda  7:28  
I love that. Yeah. Yeah. It's very, it's very fantastical and imaginative. But at the same time, it's very real. Like it's not it's not like fantastical in the way that it has never existed because it did exist. Because yeah, all peoples were indigenous to somewhere at some point.

Ryookyung Kim  7:57  
It feels like a this like big migration. Oh, I'm getting like goosebumps as we're talking. So yeah, I loved what you said about that, because it does feel fantastical. But not in this, like, Let's escape our current reality to go to this fantasy, but it's this like, reality, the things that we want to see in reality, and the futures time collapsing it Yeah, it just feels like a really cool journey. And I think because the word colonize, it, like brings the focus back on to the word that we we hear often, like colonization, like re indigenizing just feels like a lot more. I like I imagine it like when you go to someone's place, and they give you like a nice bowl of soup. And it just feels really, really like warm in your body. Like that's what it feels like for me. 

Jamee Pineda  9:01  
I love soup.

Ryookyung Kim  9:02  
Yeah, I know, soup is the best. Soup is so great. There's just no soup that I don't like, you know.

Jamee Pineda  9:13  
Okay, so this is totally off of the questions that I have written down. But what is your favorite soup? And if you were a soup, what soup would you be?

Ryookyung Kim  9:26  
Oh, this is such a great question. Okay, the first question was, What's my favorite right? And if I was a soup, what would I be? Okay. So, my favorite oh my gosh, my favorite really like changes with the weather? Because, you know, I'm sure you know, all soups have different like healing properties and like nourishing properties for different moments in your life. And so right now we are in a season of transition. So it's kind of cold where I am now and I was I was feeling the September breeze and I was like all fall is coming. And this is interesting because this is actually a summer soup. But I think because I'm holding on to summer just a little bit longer before the warmth goes away. I've been thinking a lot about naengmyeon which is a cold broth with buckwheat noodles. And depending on the regions in Korea, there's different toppings and different garnishes that go on top. And it was it's coming up for me because I was just watching a documentary on naengmyeon specifically,

Jamee Pineda  10:39  
is it the one on Netflix with the super famous chef and it's like Cold Noodle Rhapsody. 

Ryookyung Kim  10:43  
Yeah. Yes. That's the one. 

Jamee Pineda  10:48  
I haven't gotten through all of it yet. But yes, I've watched it. i Yeah, I like that series. And I like the Pork Belly Rhapsody, too.

Ryookyung Kim  10:57  
okay, that's going to be next on my list. I didn't know there was more than one rhapsody video.  I thought it was just the one.

Jamee Pineda  11:02  
Yeah, there's a pork belly one and then a beef one.

Ryookyung Kim  11:06  
Oh, okay. That's Oh, that's just okay. Yeah, it's gonna be on my to watch list for the next little while because it takes me a while to get through watching stuff. But yeah, this one the first episode was just jam packed with so many like naengmyeon styles. Like, I had to lay down afterwards cuz it was very stimulating. There's too many different types. I must go way down and like process. Like, what I've just witnessed because I think I'm used to food docs or food thing where it just talks about like one thing. And like one video, but this one was like, here's like a 50 different things. And like one episode, I was like, Oh, my God, this is this is a lot for me to absorb. Right now. My partner and I were both just like uhhhh.

Jamee Pineda  11:55  
It's so intense.

Ryookyung Kim  11:55  
It's really intense

Jamee Pineda  11:55  
And I appreciate how much historical and personal context goes into the different styles because he talks all about, like, what was happening economically and politically in Korea at different times when different dishes developed and why they developed certain ways. And like so much of it has to do with migration, and war and like access to resources. And it's, it's like very beautiful, but also like, really sad. For a lot of it too.

Ryookyung Kim  12:26  
Yes, I started crying the moment one of the store, like the naengmyeon noodle shop owner sort of talking about the map that his dad drew. That was like the path to his like, the map was just like this really, it was a beautiful drawing. It was like scratchy. And there was like a will underneath and he wrote like, here's a path that you need to take take this road and take this road in order to get home. Because he was dreaming about reunification. And it like it really got me I was like, Oh my gosh, this like to so many feelings. And I think that's part of the reason why I had to go lay down too because I was just like, oh my gosh, I haven't thought about reunification in a while. And just for like quick context like because right now Korea is divided between North and South Korea. And so there were a lot of families, people displaced. People being separated, like I had, my mom told me about her uncle who joined like the North Korean forces during the war, and she never heard from him again. And I it haunts me because I think about like, what became of him like what he's up to like, Is he alive? Like I don't know. So there Yeah, so I love that this specific episode that I watched was focused on like the Pyongyang nangmyeon which is like the cold noodles from like, what is now known as North Korea. And yeah, it was just very emotional. And so I think it's funny because here I only have like one type of naengmyeon. My mind was truly blown to be like, I'm sorry, there were this many naengmyeon styles like I have to go and like try all of them. Although I don't know if they're like available here because there's just like the one type that I know that they sell here in Toronto, but yeah, so that answers like one of the questions and then the second question about what soup I would be, oh my gosh, again, this I think also really speaks to like my, the relationship I have with my transness like it, it's it changes and it like, grows and shifts and like expands and does its thing. But I think right now the soup that just came to me is the pork bone soup, and it's really funny because I don't...

Jamee Pineda  15:03  
Kalbi tang?

Ryookyung Kim  15:03  
I don't really like gamjatang, oh but kalbi tang is so good too.

Jamee Pineda  15:08  
Yeah, that's one of my faves.

Ryookyung Kim  15:12  
Okay I'm gonna change my answer. Because Okay, so here's the thing. It's like, I love kalbitang because it's so easy to eat. But the gamjatang is hart to eat. So like, even though I feel like a gamjatang right now, I don't actually like to eat it all that often, unless somebody like, like they they parse out the meat and like, put it in, in my in my rice bowl.

Jamee Pineda  15:41  
That's like a highly specific situation.

Ryookyung Kim  15:43  
Yes, yes. Like I, I realized, I've spent way too long in my life, pretending like, I'm an easygoing person with food. I'm not like, I am so picky. I am so particular. I don't like to eat fish unless somebody like grabs the meat of the fish and puts it in my rice bowl. Because that's like how I grew up eating like my grandma used to do that. 

Jamee Pineda  16:09  
You know, that's like a love thing. 

Ryookyung Kim  16:13  
They're just such a love thing. And so for me, I'm like, why would I do that myself if somebody else is willing to do it for you

Jamee Pineda  16:23  
Like a fish top

Ryookyung Kim  16:25  
Yes. Yes, exactly. And so I just I love the, the, like, I feel like maybe it's because I've been tinkering with myself for a little while in getting to know myself more. So there's like the nooks and crannies of the gamjatang that I really resonate with. And you know, the broth is just so good. Like, it's so hearty. And there's a lot of depth to it. But, yeah, the kalbiang is great, too, because it's just delicious and really easy to you know, how the meat just falls off the bones?

Jamee Pineda  17:04  
Yes. If you do it, right. Yes. 

Ryookyung Kim  17:06  
Yeah. Yeah,

Jamee Pineda  17:09  
Because I definitely have had it when it's like, I was cooking it or someone else's cooking it and we were a little impatient. 

Ryookyung Kim  17:19  
Mhmm, mhmm.  I'm like that, too.

Jamee Pineda  17:19  
It is a thing that that takes patience or an instant pot to get it soft. I like whenever I talk to an Asian on this show. We always end up talking about food. And it's so funny. But like, I feel like this is really relevant because food is one of the ways in which we play with identity, with whatever ingredients we have available to us as people who live in diaspora. That is such a huge that's such a huge point of play for me that has felt easier to access his food I feel like at least with my my cultural upbringing, being Filipino it's a very joyous thing. And you can do all kinds of stuff with it. And it's it is play and it's party time and all of this stuff. And I think with with Filipinos we have so many cultural influences because of just the location of the islands and the history of it that it's like automatically fusion for so many of the dishes, which I think it has an element of playfulness to it.

Ryookyung Kim  18:41  
I feel that so like, just in my bones because it's very similar in Korean culture as well for food to be like a joyous and festive thing. And I'm thinking a lot about even in shamanic traditions in Korea, there's a lot of offerings, there's a lot of like, almost Dare I say this were like, excessive, like preparation that goes into like, honoring of our ancestors and the rituals in the ceremony like like, it is just oh, there's a word so In Korean, we call it bapsang, I believe. I'm pretty sure that's a word. It's like the the preparation of the food and sang i think also means like prize, too. So there's this like, when I hear the word bapsang, I could be wrong. I'm like, pretty sure though. If there's any Koreans out there who is like listening to this, please let me know if I'm incorrect. But it like embodies the feeling of like, like prizing the food it's like very sacred. There's this element of sharing not not only with us, and with the people present, but the people that we are serving this for who are not able to, like, ingest this food, because they don't have bodies, they are floating. And yeah, the the idea of fusion is so interesting to Fusion as play because there's a lot of elements in Korean cooking too that like, is not native to the lands. Like, I am so curious to know in Filipino food, like what is native and what isn't native? Like I think about like how cheese and spam are like not native to Korea, but it's, it's used so much.

Jamee Pineda  20:40  
Yeah, it's weird because it's, it's there are these influences that have happened from a really fucked up tragic events like through colonization like things like spam are available in places like the Philippines and Korea because it was like US Army surplus. Yep, they're just trying to dump stuff that was undesirable onto, like, all of these other places that they're based in. So it's, it's almost like, Well, I'm gonna put my interpretation on it at this, at this moment, maybe I will change my mind in the future, but it's almost like, okay, so this shitty thing has happened. We're going to transform it and make it delicious. And, and, like, enjoyable and nourishing. But it's like not a secret that these things came from our colonizers.  It's not a secret that there was like pain and suffering that came along with with the integration of these foods into our diets. So the there's this dish called arroz caldo. I think I've talked about this before on a different episode. So arroz caldo is basically like a rice porridge with chicken. And this dish exists like all over the place all over Asia, jook in Korea, like, you know, like congee or whatever. Like it's, it's everywhere. And Each place has its own, you know, spin on it. But in the Philippines, it's it's called arroz caldo, like "arroz caldo" Spanish for rice pot. But it's a it's a soup that comes more from East Asia. But then we have it like it's like from trade with China, trade through with South China, that we have a dish like this, but then it's made in a in its own way in the Philippines, like Filipinos often will take a dish that has influences from other places, they just add way more meat to it. And way more garlic and onions and ginger so it's like if I make if I make rice porridge like Chinese style, it's like one slice of ginger for the whole pot like it's a very bland dish. And then if I make it like Filipino style, it's like a whole like knob. Like three inch, four inches of ginger and like a whole chicken in it not like you know a few chicken bones for broth. Like it's a very it's like a very indulgent, like very, very hearty food. And it like very, very strong tasting versus like, like other blander porridges, which I don't say bland as in a bad thing. I actually think bland is a very good flavor. And it has its own nutritional medicinal uses. So it's not a hater thing or like which rice porridge is better. But yeah, Filipinos like they go kind of extreme. It's sort of like the southern food of Asia and like it's like, it can be like so indulgent. Like we have another rice porridge. That's just fucking rice and chocolate. 

Ryookyung Kim  23:58  
What? 

Jamee Pineda  23:59  
Yeah

Ryookyung Kim  23:59  
I have not heard of this.

Jamee Pineda  24:01  
Yeah, it's like it's a chocolate rice porridge.

Ryookyung Kim  24:05  
Okay, that sounds delicious. I must try

Jamee Pineda  24:09  
it's so good. But there's a lot of play in the like the the decadence. It's like no matter like what you're given, if even if it's fucking scraps, it will be amazing.

Ryookyung Kim  24:28  
Yes. I love that so much. Play with what we've been given. And history showing us like, what we've been dealt with. It's really fucking shitty. really shitty. And, like, reminders that play still exists in that too. And that feels hopeful, but also just like this beacon, I think. Yeah, I see it like play being a beacon of sorts.

Jamee Pineda  25:13  
Yeah, I hear that. It's how can you have possibility if you don't have play in imagination?

Ryookyung Kim  25:22  
Yes

Jamee Pineda  25:22  
And if you're in a situation where there are, where reality has become limited.  The only way out is to make more possibilities.

Ryookyung Kim  25:35  
And play being like, yeah, seeing it as an essential part. In Korea, it's like a magic wand is kind of how I see it. Like, okay, we are given these things. They're not like them, the, the energy of the things we've been given themselves are like, shitty, but it's like, but that doesn't mean the thing that we make has to be shitty. 

Jamee Pineda  26:03  
Yeah

Ryookyung Kim  26:03  
Hence the food. Like, the food that comes out of it is like, delicious. Like, I think about banh mi like, I think like, you know, like, all like everywhere around the world. And like people of the global majority, and their food, like there's so much of a through line. But with each village, each, like region having its own like version of it, like, all coming from play, because people are playing in different ways. Yeah. And it's like you were saying something? Yes. And it's like you were saying it's like, one is not better than the other. They're just different. The there's just different, like creations that came from different, like, different play.

Jamee Pineda  26:48  
Yeah, I think I think that's that word is so key, creation. Play is creation energy, like you were you were doing something that wasn't there before. Or you're playing with something that was there and making it new.

Ryookyung Kim  27:02  
Mm hmm.  Mm hmm.

Jamee Pineda  27:06  
So you did mention, you mentioned neuro divergence earlier. And I would like to know more about what your experience with that is like, and how that relates to play, and desire, and healing.

Ryookyung Kim  27:21  
Oh, okay. So I think it was very helpful. Actually, I don't know if helpful is the right word. But the way that I went through this journey of getting intimate and getting to know myself first, was sort of deconstructing the dream that my parents had put on me. So it was sort of like, if you go and be a creative person, if you if you're going out there being an artist, just make sure that you have money, like make sure you have the stability, the like, like health benefits, like make sure you have all of those things. And I got to a point where I had that, like, I was making a stable, like, you know, getting a paycheck every two weeks doing a like a design job for a corporate company. And I was like, at my lowest, you know, and so that was sort of like the first deconstruction initiation, I guess, I would say, and then came this deconstructing of gender binaries. And then sort of that sort of opening up doors, and listening to my mom's stories about me when I was younger, and I was like, Oh, my gosh, like, there were signs all along that I was neurodivergent. And it's interesting, because in the beginning, I was focusing so hard on getting, like putting myself into a box of like, which one am, I right? Which recipe card am I being given? Is it is it the ADHD? Or is it is it the autism or is it like, because of the way that Western psychology works? Right? It's very, like piecemeal, like, putting it into tiny fractions of what these things are - and I already lost track of your question, but I'm gonna keep going - and feeling like I had to put myself in a box and realizing Okay, they're like, the these boxes are imaginary. They're also jails. And like, it's not doing me any favors to like, label myself as like, just the one thing when I feel like I experience my life in so many of these like these, these "symptoms" that kind of show up in, in in realms of autism and ADHD and and also like OCD. But then I'm hearing like OCD and autism, like, you know, they mesh and then ADHD and autism also mesh. So I'm just like, okay, so then maybe these labels are like, not as important for me to stay in. But they are an important like, they're sort of like the doorway to go through. And then once I'm like, through the doorway, I can just go out and like, play with it. And in the beginning, I think, I think the reason why play was so important for me was because in the beginning, I wore it as sort of like, like, I was really angry, there was a lot of grief and anger and kind of moving through life, being like, what's wrong with me, and then realizing there's absolutely nothing wrong with me, I just live in a world that doesn't allow for neurodivergent and disabled people to thrive.  History has shown us, like, history has shown us this. And so I feel like it was important for me to play so that I don't stay in that very, like self limiting place. And I say self limiting, because I've been seeing it's sort of like reading a diagnosis of what somebody who is neurodivergent is experiencing through the lens of somebody who was not neurodivergent. So the way that I've seen Google lists of like, people who experience and live life with autism, it's like through the lens of a non autistic person. So it's kind of like what's wrong with an autistic person. Versus when I speak to people who are neurodivergent like, it's magical, like the way that we experience life is so freeing, like, we can talk about how like sensitive we are. But that's not spoken about in a way that feels limiting. It's spoken about ways that are like, Oh, that's so fucking cool. Like, we get to, like, be able to feel the energy of these things. Like how amazing is that? And that felt like place a leaning more and more into it. And I've, I've been in spaces where we like, there are we speak about neurodivergent as like a bother, I just need to fix this, so that I can go and do something else. And I think that kind of bring that back to like, the RE indigenizing process is like, well, if I keep thinking about neuro divergence as like, a thing to beat myself with, like, that's not fun. And I'm just surveilling myself, like, I am, like putting myself under like surveillance. And I feel like surveillance and punishment is like the opposite of play. And the opposite of celebration. That came from my mentor, from from our mentor, Joy,

Jamee Pineda  33:15  
joy 

Ryookyung Kim  33:16  
Yeah

Jamee Pineda  33:18  
Joy is so fucking rad.

Unknown Speaker  33:18  
I just my mouth has dropped more times this year than it has like, in my entire life, working with Joy.

Jamee Pineda  33:27  
I've never met a person who talks and everything they say is a quote. 

Ryookyung Kim  33:33  
Yeah. 

Jamee Pineda  33:35  
Like, it's like everything they say like when when I take notes when when when she's talking. I'm like, This is ridiculous. I'm just transcribing the conversation. Like everything's a quote.  Yes.

Ryookyung Kim  33:49  
My hand cannot type as fast as she speaks, like Joy your genius is moving too fast, like give me one second.  

Jamee Pineda  34:00  
Yeah, she's on fire all the time. 

Ryookyung Kim  34:01  
Yeah. 

Jamee Pineda  34:04  
I was really appreciating how you were talking about neuro divergence and play and to me that just brings up that existing as a neurodivergent person and just engaging in play in whatever way becomes a very easy pathway to decolonization or re indigenizing because it's like, it's like, inherently anti capitalist, because you're not focusing on productivity, like you're focusing on pleasure and wholeness and existing exactly as you are. 

Ryookyung Kim  34:42  
Hmmm

Jamee Pineda  34:43  
Right? Like, like you're not going against whatever your nature is, you're just, you just are. 

Ryookyung Kim  34:49  
Yes. 

Jamee Pineda  34:50  
And well, what would the world be like if everyone just could be exactly as they are?

Ryookyung Kim  34:56  
I think it'd be so - it'd be a party all the time with so much food,

Jamee Pineda  35:02  
yeah, totally. Everyone's gonna be crying in their bowl of noodles. Because we're gonna be so excited, and we're gonna feel all the feelings.

Ryookyung Kim  35:10  
Yeah. It's also a world where I feel like conflict is kind of an opportunity to, like, do something different. Like, I used to be so afraid of conflict. And if I think about this world, where like, if everyone could just be as they are, like, conflict no longer feels scary to me. Because there's this feeling that like, I have a feeling if there's going to be a brawl, if there's gonna be conflict, like, we're still gonna have food afterwards. Like, we're still gonna, like, get together and be like, Well, that was not great. You want to, like grab something to eat.

Jamee Pineda  35:47  
I mean, I do strive to end all of my conflicts like that. Grab a bite afterwards, and like, I need to, I need a burger.

Ryookyung Kim  36:02  
And that, like, I think, brings us back to play. Like, because eating is is play, like, because we got to figure out what we want to eat. Like, what's the medicine for this? Like, the stuff the stuff that we're feeling? And so figuring that out is like a process of getting to, like, you know, we feel good right now, after this one specific fight that we had, like, yeah, a burger, an ice cream cone, like, something sweet, something colorful, like. Yeah, I'm just like, I have goosebumps, this whole conversation with you. This is super fun for me.

Jamee Pineda  36:39  
I love it for like in like late summer/early fall, and you're like cold noodles. You have to hold onto it. And in my head, I'm like, is the bingsu play still open? 

Ryookyung Kim  36:54  
Oh bingsu!

Jamee Pineda  36:56  
And they like I think that they like released a flavor that was a combination with halo halo, which is like the Filipino style of shaved ice. Which of course, like shaved ice. It's like, it's extra, because it's like a little bit of ice. But also you have like, half your glass is really just toppings. And then they put like a fucking slice of flan on top. Sometimes they put cake on it. And sometimes they put a scoop of ice cream like rice krispies. It's, it's like ridiculous.

Ryookyung Kim  37:27  
I love it. The decadence that you speak of it really comes through in desserts too. Yeah, yeah. Well, it sounds like everything, but also desserts.

Jamee Pineda  37:36  
I'm just gonna say that it's very flamboyant and gay. I know that not everyone is going to agree with me on that. But I feel like food is a way to be really flamboyant and gay. And like it is I don't know. It's because it's just joyous. It's celebratory. And it's always better with someone else.

Unknown Speaker  38:01  
Oh, I love that so much.

Jamee Pineda  38:04  
Well, I'm going to take that bathroom. Because sometimes I really like taking myself on a date to go get food. But it is it's a special thing. When you get to share with someone.

Ryookyung Kim  38:16  
You get to have the both and. 

Jamee Pineda  38:18  
Exactly. 

Ryookyung Kim  38:21  
Yeah. Oh my gosh. And now I like I'm just thinking about the ways like that food and the way that it presents in different cultures and how that kind of speaks to? Because you're right. Filipino food is really flamboyant. Really, yeah, I like that. And with that, too, I'm now reflecting on the ways that I make food. It's really chaotic. Like, I had a friend witness me in the kitchen once and she was like, I never want to cook with you again. Like, she was like, it's, it's, you know, I will make the food and you can just eat it. And I mean, she's also a Capricorn so it's, it's I feel like my Chaos Energy can sometimes be a lot for earth signs. Yeah, like my partner has a Capricorn rising and he's just like, What are you up to in the kitchen? It's like a mad scientist

Jamee Pineda  39:22  
Is there like bowls and like everything, you like you use all the utensils.

Ryookyung Kim  39:27  
I use a utensil once and then I put it into the sink and then I end up using like 10 spoons, yeah, four forks. And there is no recipe. I'll look at the recipe and actively am like how do I defy this thing so that it suits my like current level of current temperament because right now I don't want to feel like tied down and then measuring like, you know, and then doing like the tasting every once in a while and be like, Hey, I'm just gonna like pour this soy sauce and then see what happens. And so when you speak about food as play like I really Because I used to not like cooking. And I think that's because there's a whole variety of things influencing my life to like, not enjoy being in the kitchen. But once I started to look through food, once I started to look at food through the lens of play, that's when I just like it started becoming really easy for me to just make something. And again, just using whatever I have in the fridge. It feels like a great challenge. I'm like, oh, like, things are so limited. I have like two things like, what can I make that's really good with these two things. While it's kind of add a whole lot of Yeah, the garlic, the green onion, you know, so yeah, when you speak about food being really gay, in Filipino culture, like, I want to, I want to embody that, too. With my neurodivergence and just like, yeah, letting letting that be, letting me be in the kitchen

Jamee Pineda  40:59  
It's natural. It just comes naturally.

Ryookyung Kim  41:02  
Yes. And I really want to honor the aunties who cook like that, who that you ask them the recipe and they're like, I don't have one. I just throw shit into the pot. And it comes out like the best thing you've ever tasted. I'm like, oh,

Jamee Pineda  41:19  
but then that also means they've been playing with that food for like years. 

Ryookyung Kim  41:24  
Mm hmm. Perfecting.

Jamee Pineda  41:25  
They've been experimenting with it for years, and it's like you measure by how it feels in your body. And that's a very different way of measuring, right? Like you're not using you're not using a cup or like you know, like you're not using like metrics.

Ryookyung Kim  41:43  
Yes. i Yes, exactly. That's so so true.

Jamee Pineda  41:51  
Yeah, so be gay, be neurodivergent, and play with your food. I think it's yeah,

Ryookyung Kim  41:55  
that's the overarching

Jamee Pineda  41:59  
that's the theme we're talking about

Ryookyung Kim  42:06  
Ah!  this is great.

Jamee Pineda  42:32  
So I want to make sure we have time for our community shout out. What BIPOC group or individual would you like to uplift for our community shout out. Yeah, take it away.

Ryookyung Kim  42:49  
I want to give a shout out to one of my oldest friends. She and I went to school together. I met her while I was studying in New York. And right now her name is Grace. And right now what she's up to is she's just creating most like beautiful things. So she is a stationery artist and a candle maker.

Jamee Pineda  43:16  
I'm already like where do I find this person?

Ryookyung Kim  43:19  
Oh, I will send you all their deets.

Jamee Pineda  43:24  
The Asian obsession with stationary is very strong. 

Ryookyung Kim  43:27  
I think this is like our ancestral medicine. Like there's just something about Yeah, like Asians and stationary. It's just like embedded

Jamee Pineda  43:35  
We love paper. We love paper.

Ryookyung Kim  43:39  
Yeah, it's true. It's true. I just touching things. Like, oh, handmade things, like stationery, like bumper stickers. It's like, yeah, like I'm in autistic heaven when I have things to touch, like it's the best. And so she makes washi tapes. Stickers she makes like stamps now for like for anyone who likes to journal. And she specifically themes them around like she calls them chicas. She's Afro Latina. And so she makes a lot of stickers of Brown and Black girls doing their thing looking cute with like, drinks and coffee and living like the like the stationary dream like so. That and she also makes candles. I just ordered a couple of candles from her. She makes these decorative candles that are like shaped. They're shaped like ice cream. They're shaped like like strawberries, and cheese, and lime. And there's there's like words like that she calls them there's like like calditos? I am definitely butchering that but it's like a lot of the flavors are are derived from like, not derived, but like yeah a lot of the flavors come from like the stuff that she grew up with the orange drink that she grew up with in the like in like the Dominican Republic and is there anything else I want to share? Yeah, it's just it's just play embodied in like stationery and candles and it's just delicious looking like all of it. 

Jamee Pineda  45:28  
But don't eat it.

Ryookyung Kim  45:28  
Yeah, but don't eat it.  But I know if I look at it, like, I just, I want to smell it like I want to, like

Jamee Pineda  45:33  
How do people find out about - how do people connect with Grace?

Ryookyung Kim  45:37  
So Grace had - oh I turned off my phone, but her socials are @the Wednesday company or Wednesday Co on Instagram. Let's see. I just want to make sure that I'm getting it right. Sorry. Great. Okay, so it's just @Wednesdaycompany on Instagram. 

Ryookyung Kim  46:04  
Oh, no, no "the"

Ryookyung Kim  46:06  
Yeah, no "the"

Jamee Pineda  46:09  
and company "C-O" or company spelled out? 

Ryookyung Kim  46:12  
Company spelled out. 

Ryookyung Kim  46:13  
Got it. So @Wednesdaycompany. All right. And then how do people connect with you?

Ryookyung Kim  46:23  
So I am on Instagram and on Tik Tok. I've been really like, enjoying being on social media lately, again, because I want to play with it and not treating social media like oh, this is like the worst thing ever.  It's @party.noodles for both platforms. And I also want to give one more shout out because I had Grace and Jillian Rootwalker who I got to commune with last week in her masterclass, called "Demystifying in Decolonizing". I spoke about Jillian like earlier in the podcast, but yeah, shouting out Jillian, because Jillian is so cool. And just doing like, the way that Julian writes, I'm like, Oh, my gosh, I just feel like melting like into your landscape of writing.  

Jamee Pineda  47:19  
Is Jillian also on IG?

Ryookyung Kim  47:22  
Yes, Jillian, I believed. It's @jillianrootwalker. Yes.

Jamee Pineda  47:36  
Awesome. I will also put these in the show notes for folks to find later. Okay, any last? I almost said any last words. And then that sounded really morbid, but anything else that you want to share before we end the episode?

Ryookyung Kim  47:54  
oh, my gosh 

Jamee Pineda  47:55  
Before we cease to exist. 

Ryookyung Kim  47:58  
Yeah, before we poof back out of the ether and into like, into space. It also felt like I don't know, like, an anime episode.  It's like the last battle and someone's like, I haven't watched anime forever. But it's like, yeah. Any last words. I just want to say thank you so much for like, when I put in the request to be on here, I had no idea what to expect. But I just wanted to like converse with you. And I feel like it was super fun to just do that. It was really, really fun. So thank you so much for having me. I'm just very grateful to be here.

Jamee Pineda  48:39  
Oh, it's always awesome to talk with you. Like you're always so much fun. It's so very real. And I just adore it. I adore conversations with you in general.

Ryookyung Kim  48:51  
Okay, we got to we got to have these more. I have to come back again. 

Jamee Pineda  48:55  
All right, you're definitely invited back. Thank you so much for being here and being in conversation with me today.

Jamee Pineda  49:43  
Announcements so I am continuing to divest from social media. You might have noticed I haven't really been very active on it in the last month. And I would like to say a big thank you to everyone who has been sharing or subscribing to my newsletter. It feels so good to be connecting with folks outside of the algorithms, so please keep sharing and subscribing to my podcast, my newsletter, and my YouTube account etc. Let's get these conversations out there. We've got one more drop in session left for QTBIPGM qi gong on January 8 From 1-2pm Eastern Time. Signups are on my website jamee-pineda-lac.com. And that's Jamee with two E's. I will be doing more Qigong classes in the future, so stay tuned. In the latest Patreon bonus episode, I talked about one of my favorite things which is supporting folks through gender affirming top surgery. I'm also a little behind on captioning episodes 18 and 19 of the podcast as I am moving a little slower during winter, but I will get to them and thank you again to Patreon folks for continuing to support a more accessible podcast. If you are interested in joining my Patreon you can head to patreon.com/jameepinedahealingarts or you can look for that info on my website. February's episode might come out a little later than usual, but it's all for an awesome reason. I've sustained a massive crush on this person for almost five years. So I really just have to gush a little bit about it. Cuán McCann, our audio engineer will be traveling to Ireland to advance his studies and bataireacht, aka Irish stick fighting. And I am so excited and thrilled for him. Sidenote/side eye to white folks, you don't have to be appropriating Asian martial arts because literally every culture that has ever experienced war or attacked another culture has some kind of self defense or combat form. And you all seem to like attacking other cultures. So Cuán teaches classes in Baltimore and DC. If you're a queer trans person interested in learning how to swing sticks at fascists or maybe you just want to take a movement class that works with folks of varying abilities and experience check out @bmorebata on Instagram and that's b m o r e b a t a.

Jamee Pineda  52:28  
Maraming salamat for listening to The Decolonizing Medicine Podcast. Music is by Amberle Ojeca, hedkandi, and Rocky Marciano. Big thanks to Cuán McCann for audio engineering all of the episodes. And last but not least, thank you to all our listeners and supporters out there. Happy New Year.  Ingat!

Transcribed by https://otter.ai