Healing is magic. It is the most optimistic calling anyone can answer. In order to heal, you must believe in the possibility of a different reality. You must commit to re-making a piece of the world however small or large. Even a paper cut requires a regeneration of flesh – you remake a part of YOU. The alchemy of sunshine into plants into food is miraculous. Actual starlight makes its way into our bodies to become cells, tissues, and organs. It is a photon that has traveled light years to fuse with you.

When I am the one on the treatment table, I look for traces of wonder in my practitioner. Do they perceive me as an infinite being made of stars or as a problem to be fixed? Are they here for my new world making or are we trapped in preordained possibilities? Technical skills and professionalism alone are not enough for true transformation...

If you haven't already heard, there is a possibility that Roe v. Wade may be overturned. This has wide-ranging impacts that include barring access to safe abortions, but also trans healthcare and medical privacy. The news is horrific, but not entirely shocking given that we live in a patriarchal, colonial culture that prioritizes controlling certain people's bodies over autonomy and reproductive rights.

I pulled three cards today from the Kapwa Tarot:

1. Lima ng balahibo ng ibon
2. Nakatanda ng balat
3. XX Headhunter

All three cards show themes of being held: the handler of the champion cock fighter, the elder holding a person as they sleep, a headhunter being held by ancestors while holding the skulls of enemies. I see struggle and conflict. I see the challenge to step up and fight for ourselves and our communities. We must be ready to right the imbalance of power and seek justice for the violations. The strength to do this is seated in our own relationship to healing and rest. Our ancestors hold us, protect us, giving us the ability to rest and dream of something better. They bring us wisdom, introspection, and rootedness. It is a message to take care of ourselves as we rise against oppressive forces.

A traditional part of hilot was abortion care through methods like herbal medicine and massage. There are some practitioners in the Philippines who still practice this. Hilot pre-dates colonization, Catholicism, and the United States. We stand on the shoulders of ancestors that have fought for and cared for their communities. That fills me with so much strength and gratitude.

Even with this knowledge, I can still fall into despair as people's access to healthcare is stripped away. I remind myself now and again to take my own medicine, to love on myself, and to feel whatever it is I need to feel. When I am ready, I regulate my nervous system. 

It's Autism Awareness Month and until last year I was completely UNaware that I am autistic.  This knowledge has given me so much compassion and understanding for myself and others (and there is still more to learn).  My neurotype is inseparable from how I have been practicing medicine all these years and I thank my ancestors for guiding me into a calling that just FITS.
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Attention to detail, webbed thinking, and pattern recognition.  When I work with a patient I collect information from ALL aspects of their life to understand how to work with them holistically.  It is never just about the disease.  It is about the person and their context which includes the communal, environmental, spiritual, physical, and historical.
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Hypersensitivity.  I am very sensitive to stimuli like scents, textures, and sounds.  In everyday life this can be difficult, strong scents and sounds can overwhelm me and cause meltdowns, but in the clinic it is extremely useful.  My diagnoses are informed by palpatory exams to detect sensations like heat, texture, tightness, and movement in the body.  These subtle sensations give me real time biofeedback about where to needle and how someone is responding to a treatment.